Numb
by Princess Sammi
Summary: 'What she did know was that she had simply felt numb for years ...' 3/4 part songfic set to 'Numb' by Linkin Park.


**Disclaimer: I don't own 'The Worst Witch' and 'Numb' belongs to Linkin Park.**

**A/N: Greetings people! *waves* Yet another idea has entered my head *facepalm* I'm not a massive fan of Linkin Park in any way, shape or form, infact I don't think I could even name any other songs of theirs lol, but something totally spoke to me in this song as soon as I had heard it and now I can't stop playing it. The lyrics more than anything ... love it! :D**

**This will probably be a 3 or 4 chapter songfic. Originally it was just supposed to be a oneshot but I like to complicate things for myself. :P I plan to include some flashbacks and although I usually have them in bold italics, I also have the song lyrics in bold italics, so it'll totally screw up the aesthetics! For the purposes of this one fic, I'm just putting the flashbacks in italics. :)**

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**********A/N - Edited 2013- song lyrics removed. I've worried for some time about copyright laws and have thus made the decision to remove the lyrics from any writing I have done. :) I still plan to write the fic though, but just base it off the song.**

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**Numb**

**Chapter 1**

Her mind replayed the words that Imogen had practically spat at her earlier in the day. Yet again she'd found herself embroiled in another argument with the PE teacher as they had, again, fought for their subjects. The points had started off constructive but it had soon turned more personal as they had launched scathing remarks at one another.

She hadn't meant to say it but the words had slipped from her tongue before she could stop herself. It was another one of her flaws: whenever she felt like she was being pushed into a corner, panic would rise within her and she would retaliate with her tongue; the cutting words intended to wound. By bringing the woman's "non-witch" status into play she could remind her of her place. It was usually the one thing guaranteed to win an argument, but this time she had pushed Imogen too far; something had flashed in her green eyes.

"_How could you understand? After all you're Mistress Broomhead's little carbon copy!"_

And with that Imogen had forcefully pushed past her and fled the staffroom, desperately trying to hold back the tears which threatened to fall until she was on her own. Davina had grabbed a flower from the vase before diving for the sanctuary of her cupboard; Amelia had shot her a look before leaving the staffroom, calling Imogen's name as she had chased her down the corridor and she had been left standing in the middle of the staffroom: totally lost for words at what to say, what to do and how to feel.

Now sitting in her own sanctuary of the potions laboratory with a pile of essays to mark she found herself unable to concentrate; instead her mind wandered ...

The words should've stung; they should've really stung, the mere thought of even being remotely compared to the woman who had absolutely destroyed her life and not given a damn about the repercussions or how she had felt. The woman who had crushed her spirit as casually as one would crush a fly, leaving her bruised and utterly broken. It should have sickened her. She should've felt anger; sadness; something … anything … but she didn't. She felt nothing.

She felt ... nothing.

Was it possible that, having spent so long keeping her emotions under lock and key and her walls high, she'd forgotten how to feel? Where her emotions should have been, there was just an emptiness that resided deep within her.

Maybe Imogen had been right after all? Maybe she was more like her former tutor than she wanted to admit. It was something she didn't even want to consider; the possibility that somewhere along the line, she had crossed it. The lines between commanding respect and inducing fear were blurred. Had she unknowingly crossed into that territory?

She knew that she could be extremely harsh on the girls at times, but it was only because she held their best interests at heart and wanted them to succeed in life, but did they see it that way? Or did they just see her as a miserable bitch that was out to spoil their fun? Could it be that she was as feared and hated as her former tutor? She couldn't help but wish that just for once they would look forward to her lessons as they did the other teachers, but she wasn't as carefree as them. She knew she wasn't the same person, she'd felt the change in her heart over the years; the coldness and bitterness slowly seeping into it and poisoning her from within.

Imogen was right; she didn't understand.

When had it happened? Was it there all along, or was it after she gave in and stopped struggling, stopped fighting against the inevitable; accepted that she could and would never win against Heckitty no matter how hard she tried.

Even if she was to try and change, where would she even begin? She wasn't even sure she truly knew who she was anymore. How much was her and how much was who Heckitty had made her into?

She didn't know anymore, but what she did know was that she had simply felt numb for years.


End file.
